Adventures in August

August was a a great month full of birthdays and the beach! We were still in PA for the first 2 weeks of August while Adam was finishing up his summer job. Then "on the way" back to NC, we went to the Outer Banks, NC to visit my in-laws and enjoy their house within 30 of the beach access!! After the long drive back to Waxhaw, we started the unpacking and settling back in process...took about a week for me to get everything back in place. Adam had to go to work the day after we got back to town and he's been working hard ever since. He is teaching 3 AP classes this semester which is quite a lot of work! The boys and I spent the last 2 weeks of August with all of our friends here in Waxhaw that we missed all summer! Here are some more details with the pictures below:

 

 

Levi was so sweet to get me flowers for my birthday! He insisted to my Dad that they get the pink, blue and yellow bouquet!

 

The boys (esp. Levi) loved to work in my Dad's garden. Not sure what they are looking for here under the fast growing Okra. Everyime we would come back to my parents' house after being at camp for a week or so, Levi would immediately run back to the garden to see what all had grown bigger!

The boys asked my mom to get me cupcakes and balloons for my bday!

I turned 29...again! ha!

Celebrating Adam's birthday. Levi insisted on having the green pepper in the picture. He said it was the biggest pepper that he has ever seen in his whole life! :-)

Adam and I got to have a date night while we were in the Outer Banks. My in-laws watched the kids and we went to an all-you-can-eat crab legs seafood buffet and then shopping at the outlets! Adam was making up for not being able to get off from work for my actual bday :-)

GORGEOUS Outer Banks, NC! My in laws house is just 30 ft from here!

 

Trying for some family pictures. Lots of squinting!

Fun stop at Cracker Barrel for lunch on the way back to Waxhaw

 

Wyatt got his first library card. He was very excited!

Levi was feeling left out that he did not get a library card (you have to be able to write you first and last name), and he wanted his picture taken too. This is a classic silly Levi face!

The word "Grace", Part 2

To read the beginning of my thoughts on The word "Grace", click here.
I mentioned that I was in a group book study on Grace for the Good Girl, and I will give more of a "book review" on that specific book in another post. But that book study was just the beginning of my desire to search out what it really meant to live a life focused on grace. While that book definitely opened my eyes to ways that I was attempting to "try hard" in my Christian life rather than resting in God's grace, another book made an even bigger impact on me mainly because its focus was on child rearing in light of God's grace. And right now with 4 and 5 year old boys in my house, anything on the topic of Christian child rearing gets my attention quite a bit!
This book that totally rocked my world and I just can't get out of my mind is Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. I just can't say enough about this book. I will probably end up typing out quite a few quoted passages as the authors of this book said it better than I ever could!

I will start out w/ the synopsis that is written on the back cover of the book to give you an overview:

Every way we try to make our kids "good" is simply an extension of Old Testament Law -- a set of standards that is not only unable to save our children, but also powerless to change them. No, rules are not the answer. What they need is GRACE. We must tell our kids of the grace-giving God who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters. If this is not he message your children hear, if you are just telling them to "be good," then the gospel needs to transform your parenting too. Give them Grace is a revolutionary perspective on parenting that shows us how to receive the gospel afresh and give grace in abundance, helping our children know the dazzling love of Jesus and respond with heartfelt obedience.

Where I get conflicted and my thoughts get confused is in the fact that my kids are young. For the past 5 years, our child "rearing" has mostly consisted of children learning to talk, walk, eat independently, bathroom independently, and teaching about sharing, caring, and danger to just list a few. The book refers to this stage as "managing". Phrases like "don't run in the street", "don't throw your bat", etc.
"Rules" of this manner are necessary of course. But now we are transitioning into school-age children, I have to loosen my grip on my love for rules as a way to "show" that they love Jesus and go into more of the "unknown" of just resting in grace and what Jesus has already done for us.
And as I re-read what I just wrote, I am about ready to delete the last 2 paragraphs as I feel like I cannot accurately voice what I am thinking...but I will leave it as maybe some of you understand what I am trying to say.
Let's go back to some quotes from the book...which, by the way, as with any book there are parts within the book that I may not agree whole heartedly with or they might *gasp* use a different version of the Bible that I don't personally own or my pastor doesn't preach out of...folks, THAT'S OK!! :-) We are big boys and girls and should be able to discern for ourselves. Compare things to what the Bible says!

We tell them that they can't earn their way into heaven and that they have to trust in Jesus alone for their goodness. But then something odd happens when we start training the miniature unbelievers in our own home. We forget everything we know about that deadliness of relying on our own goodness and we teach them that Christianity is all about their behavior and whether, on any given day, God is pleased or displeased with them.

Let's face it: most of our children believe that God is happy if they're "good for goodness' sake." We've transformed the holy, terrifying, magnificent, and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves. And instead of transmitting the gloriously liberating and life-changing truths of the gospel, we have taught our children that what God wants from them is morality. We have told them that being good (at least outwardly) is the be all and end-all of their faith. This isn't the gospel; we're not handing down Christianity. We need must less of Veggie Tales and Barney and tons more of the radical, bloody, scandalous message of God made man and crushed by his Father for our sin.

So how do I transition from constant rules...which were really needed as small children to teach them  initial obedience (learning to obey Dad's and Mom's voice), social obedience (learning the social codes of society aka manners), civic obedience (learning to obey the laws of society)...
transition from those rules that have been a constant part of our life for 5 years to making sure that I do not make rules with an added phrase of "that will make Jesus happy if you do it". And instead I need to constantly talk about what Jesus has done for us and that we do not have to "do" anything more to be found "acceptable" in His sight.
so much more I'd love to share from the book and might do at a later time! I would highly recommend getting your own copy!
2 posts with NO PICTURE of the kids! Sorry Mom! I do however have new pictures in the blog header :-)

The word "Grace"

I have wanted to write a post about this for a while, but always got overwhelmed at thinking of how to put all that I am thinking into words...
I am still unsure of how to accurately portray all of my thoughts on this. I fear this post may be just a bunch of disjointed thoughts, but here it goes:

"Grace is undeserved favor"
"Grace is getting something that you don't deserve"

Both of those definitions have been ingrained in my head from my years growing up in the Awana club program at church and going to Christian highschool and Christian college.

I thought I understand what that little 5 letter word meant. But my world began to be "rocked" sometime last fall/winter when I started hearing more and more about Grace from different areas of my Christian "circles"...books, radio, sermons, etc. It seemed to be a very popular topic as everyone was talking about it. I wondered what the big deal was b/c it wasn't like that word was hard to define. I knew the definition. I knew that "mercy" is when God withheld the punishment (going to Hell when I die) that I deserve for my sin and that "grace" is when God gave me Heaven for all of eternity instead. Easy. Explained. Done. So what was the big deal? What was I missing?

I heard about a book study being led by a mutual friend. A group of ladies from her church was going to read "Grace for the Good Girl" and meet every week to discuss it. I had heard the title in passing from a couple of different social media sites. I googled it and it sounded like a book that I might have written myself had I ever been able to write a book! Ha!
I definitely grew up trying to be  "good girl" to a certain degree. I knew that I did not need to "try" to get to Heaven by being good. But the type of church and school I grew up in had a lot of rules. I liked rules...well, maybe not every rule. But rules are something this 'Type-A personality' girl thrives on. To me, rules are easier. Give me a list, I will follow it to the "t" and get the desired result. A good Christian girls does a, b, and c...ok, then I'll do a, b, and c and that will make me a good Christian girl.
But while I knew deep down that I did not have to do good things in order to get to Heaven (that was something that Catholics did, not us "Christians"), I was trained to believe that God would be happy if I was good and He would be sad if I was bad. So, I knew that I would go to Heaven no matter what b/c I had admitted that I was a sinner and could not get to Heaven by doing "good things". Bur rather, I deserved punishment for my "bad things".  And I believed that Jesus died on the cross as the punishment that I deserved for my sin. But then, I still felt like I had to live by certain rules to please God b/c he sent His Son, Jesus to die for my punishment so I could go to Heaven instead of going to Hell where I deserved to go.

And here is where I am still somewhat conflicted in my thoughts b/c to a certain degree, I should be living in such a way that will glorify God b/c He did create me and He did send his Son to die for me. But at the same time, I do not have to "do" anything to get to Heaven. I used to think that the places where the Bible states, "If you love me, you will keep my commands" meant that my motivation for keeping God's laws was to show that I loved God. But now I am realizing through many sermons I have listened to and many books I have read that a verse like I John 5:2 is simply stating a fact. Those who love God will keep on keeping His commands. It is not a way to show whether or not we love Jesus.

Queue the 2nd book that really, really rocked my world..."Give Them Grace"...wow!! I feel like I don't even want to speak to my kids anymore without first really evaluating what I am about to say. It comes so naturally for me to say, "Be kind. That will make Jesus happy". That's what I was told growing up. That's what I default to saying w/o even realizing it! Don't get me wrong, my parents did they best they knew how when raising me. I am not saying that I was ruined by this at all. It's just a totally different way of looking at everything in your life...so much more to say about this book...but...
to be continued...