I mentioned that I was in a group book study on Grace for the Good Girl, and I will give more of a "book review" on that specific book in another post. But that book study was just the beginning of my desire to search out what it really meant to live a life focused on grace. While that book definitely opened my eyes to ways that I was attempting to "try hard" in my Christian life rather than resting in God's grace, another book made an even bigger impact on me mainly because its focus was on child rearing in light of God's grace. And right now with 4 and 5 year old boys in my house, anything on the topic of Christian child rearing gets my attention quite a bit!
This book that totally rocked my world and I just can't get out of my mind is Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. I just can't say enough about this book. I will probably end up typing out quite a few quoted passages as the authors of this book said it better than I ever could!
I will start out w/ the synopsis that is written on the back cover of the book to give you an overview:
Every way we try to make our kids "good" is simply an extension of Old Testament Law -- a set of standards that is not only unable to save our children, but also powerless to change them. No, rules are not the answer. What they need is GRACE. We must tell our kids of the grace-giving God who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters. If this is not he message your children hear, if you are just telling them to "be good," then the gospel needs to transform your parenting too. Give them Grace is a revolutionary perspective on parenting that shows us how to receive the gospel afresh and give grace in abundance, helping our children know the dazzling love of Jesus and respond with heartfelt obedience.
Where I get conflicted and my thoughts get confused is in the fact that my kids are young. For the past 5 years, our child "rearing" has mostly consisted of children learning to talk, walk, eat independently, bathroom independently, and teaching about sharing, caring, and danger to just list a few. The book refers to this stage as "managing". Phrases like "don't run in the street", "don't throw your bat", etc.
"Rules" of this manner are necessary of course. But now we are transitioning into school-age children, I have to loosen my grip on my love for rules as a way to "show" that they love Jesus and go into more of the "unknown" of just resting in grace and what Jesus has already done for us.
And as I re-read what I just wrote, I am about ready to delete the last 2 paragraphs as I feel like I cannot accurately voice what I am thinking...but I will leave it as maybe some of you understand what I am trying to say.
Let's go back to some quotes from the book...which, by the way, as with any book there are parts within the book that I may not agree whole heartedly with or they might *gasp* use a different version of the Bible that I don't personally own or my pastor doesn't preach out of...folks, THAT'S OK!! :-) We are big boys and girls and should be able to discern for ourselves. Compare things to what the Bible says!
We tell them that they can't earn their way into heaven and that they have to trust in Jesus alone for their goodness. But then something odd happens when we start training the miniature unbelievers in our own home. We forget everything we know about that deadliness of relying on our own goodness and we teach them that Christianity is all about their behavior and whether, on any given day, God is pleased or displeased with them.
Let's face it: most of our children believe that God is happy if they're "good for goodness' sake." We've transformed the holy, terrifying, magnificent, and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves. And instead of transmitting the gloriously liberating and life-changing truths of the gospel, we have taught our children that what God wants from them is morality. We have told them that being good (at least outwardly) is the be all and end-all of their faith. This isn't the gospel; we're not handing down Christianity. We need must less of Veggie Tales and Barney and tons more of the radical, bloody, scandalous message of God made man and crushed by his Father for our sin.
So how do I transition from constant rules...which were really needed as small children to teach them initial obedience (learning to obey Dad's and Mom's voice), social obedience (learning the social codes of society aka manners), civic obedience (learning to obey the laws of society)...
transition from those rules that have been a constant part of our life for 5 years to making sure that I do not make rules with an added phrase of "that will make Jesus happy if you do it". And instead I need to constantly talk about what Jesus has done for us and that we do not have to "do" anything more to be found "acceptable" in His sight.
so much more I'd love to share from the book and might do at a later time! I would highly recommend getting your own copy!
2 posts with NO PICTURE of the kids! Sorry Mom! I do however have new pictures in the blog header :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment