Seasons (Part 2)

Last month I wrote Part 1 to this post about the Season of Change(s) in our life over the past 4 years. Here is the rest that I wanted to share about what the Lord has taught me. Please go back to the other post if you have not read it yet to catch up on the changes that I am referring to!

First of all, I was reminded by some close family and friends of all the people that had been praying for me thru those difficult months and years of change. And I want to say THANK YOU! Prayer definitely makes a difference and is a huge encouragement! Also, there were so many family and friends that gave of their time, which is a HUGE gift, to help us with the many moves...including packing, unpacking, watching the boys, cleaning, meals, etc, etc. I specifically remember 2 families who helped us with 2 or 3 moves. And by "moves" I mean, the whole nine yards, from boxes to furniture in and out of a u-haul, up and down stairs, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning! And after all that, they helped again with the exact same items when we had to move less than 12 months later. That my friends is an unforgettable gift, and we will always remember that generosity! We were blessed by their self-sacrificing actions and it turned our eyes to the Lord who was shining thru their hearts!

The verse that has been most precious to me over the past 4 years is
Isaiah 58:11--And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

Satisfying your desire in scorched places...scorched made me think of desert, dried up, too-far-gone, dead, no feeling. At times I felt like that...that there was no way we'd find a church family, no way I'd make close friends, no way we'd get to buy a house, etc, etc. But God said that he would satisfy my desire where it seemed "too-far-gone".
Then the verse goes on to say, give strength to your bones...boy did I NEED strength. Physical strength! I was very uncomfortably pregnant w/ a Ureteric stent (google it), a very, very big-for-his-age 12 month old who couldn't walk and had to be carried, lifted, etc. I needed strength!
And the last 2 lines of this verse talk about a picture of happiness...a watered garden, a never-ending spring of water. I didn't think it was possible, but this verse was an encouragement to me that the Lord would satisfy my desire even if I thought it was too far gone. The Lord would give me strength. And the Lord would make me look like a picture of happiness despite my circumstances.

"Disappointment happens, but discouragement is a CHOICE"

And finally, Psalm 37:3-5, 7--Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him and He will do it. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;

When I read this verse I was really challenged to change my way of living in NC...I was to dwell in NC. Not just get by day-to-day and say woe is me, I have no friends, I have no room to invite friends over... Not to think that our time in NC might be only temporary b/c we might have to move to FL, and if it's just temporary, why should I even try to find a church or get involved or make friends? No, no!! I was to dwell here and become faithful. Even if our circumstances didn't get better and we had to move back to FL, I was to be faithful and dwell where I was while I was there. It wasn't an immediate change, but I started at least "trying" to like NC and let myself admit the things that I did like about it. We started going to church faithfully and making friends and getting involved. I just had to commit, trust and wait like those verses said. And I did...over a period of 4 years. I wasn't very patient about it, but the Lord kept bringing me back to this passage and I would be encouraged and challenged and keep trying to change my way of thinking and with the Lord's help, I did!

And I have to include at least one picture in the post...This is the best we got for a family picture when we went to Asheville, NC a few weekends ago. The boys are stinkers now about smiling for pictures. At times you can get a smile out of them if they are promised a silly pose/picture after the nice one! ha!

Seasons

I've been thinking about sharing some of this for a while now, but this post from a friend of mine really inspired me to share some of the things that the Lord has taught me over the past 4 years during our "season of change(s)"



-Change of State -- Florida to NC
-Change of living quarters -- 2 bed/ 2 bath condo, to an extra master bedroom WITHIN someone else's home (bedroom, living room, office, nursery bathroom all-in-one) to an 800 sq. ft. apartment (with 2 cribs in one room), to a rental house, to a small rental house, to OUR current HOME
-Change of offspring -- 1 baby to 2 babies
-Change of vocation -- working a paid 40 hr/week job outside the home to working an unpaid undetermined amount of hours as a wife, mom, and homemaker + working a paid 10hr/week job from home
-Change of social life -- many, many friends and great church family to knowing no one my age, and looking for a new church
-Change of emotions -- mom of a 6 month old (not pregnant) to pregnant

I did not list those w/ a complaining spirit...I have complained in past. Ok, I have complained ALOT in the past. But I can now say in complete truth that I really enjoy living in North Carolina! Yes, I said it! And the Lord has taught me so much. At the time I didn't understand His timing about everything on that list above, but now that I am thru it and on the other side, I see that it was for the best. His best for our family.

some pictures...
I am 8 months pregnant and Wyatt is 13 months old in this picture.





I'd like to share the verses that have meant so much to me thru the many seasons of change(s) over the past 4 years!

Ecclesiastes 7:9-10, 13-14...Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides in the bosom of fools. Do not say, "Why is it that the former days were better than these?" For it is not from wisdom that you ask about this. Consider the work of God, for who is able to straighten what He has bent? In the day of prosperity be happy, But in the day of adversity consider -- God has made the one as well as the other So that man will not discover anything that will be after him.

There were many times that I was angry and saying to myself that it was easier in FL. We had a home in FL. We had friends in FL. etc, etc. I had to read these verses alot and ask God to help me to stop questioning why it was better in FL. And to instead realize that God has made this happen...the "good" times in FL, and the "adversity" w/ all the changes in NC.

Philippians 4:11, 13...for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am...I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

I would try so hard to be content, but I would get so discouraged about having no friends. I felt like I couldn't even invite anyone over to my "living quarters" (first few listed above) in an attempt to get to know them better in hopes of forming a friendship b/c I didn't even have an extra seat to offer them to sit on while chatting. But this verse would encourage me that I would be able to make friends despite not having room to invite people over. I could make friends b/c Christ was going to help me. And I could be content in a small living area.

Psalm 55...the whole chapter really, but esp. verses 6, 16, 17, 22, and 23. Oh that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest...I shall call upon the God...Evening and morning, and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice...cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you...But I will trust in You.

I wanted to "fly" back to FL where everything was easy. I didn't have to look for a home. I didn't have to try to make friends. I didn't have to look for a church. etc, etc. But this passage shows that when trials come you can either flee, fight or fly ABOVE! At times I wanted to flee, other times I wanted to fight the changes and not let myself be happy. I would find the bad instead, and fight any type of feeling enjoying myself in this new season. But finally w/ God's help, I "flew above". God gives us burdens and we need to give them back to Him. Don't ask for wings like a dove to fly away, but for wings like eagles to soar ABOVE!

I have more verses and thoughts to share, but in light of this post, I need to get to bed, so I can get up before the kids tomorrow AM! So I'll share 2 more short ones and save the rest for another post...

Psalm 119:71...It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.
Job 42:5...I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You.
Job acknowledges that his trials brought him into a deeper relationshp w/ God.
I can truely say that it was good for me to go thru those hard times b/c I have learned from God's Word. And like Job, I can see that back in FL, 4 years ago, I had heard the Lord, but now my eyes see Him.

and here are our family Christmas card pictures from the last 4 years:
2007

2008

2009

2010

Stop waking up TO your children and start waking up FOR your children

Even if you don't like schedules, making lists and having a "routine", please keep reading...I will share some personal changes that I'm working on at the end of this post.
The following is from Preschoolwise:
"Routine Matters--No matter how free-spirited and even defiant your preschooler can sometimes be, know that structure is the best thing for him and your entire household. When children don't know what's happening next, they can feel anxious. And anxious children are irritable, angry, uncooperative, and unhappy. Routines offer security and reassurance. In addition to having clearly stated family rules, many families find that using chore charts and incentive programs encourages good behavior."

That is so true at least in our house. AND it really applies to me as well...when I don't know what is happening next, I can get irritable and unhappy too! Even though that quote is regarding preschoolers, I will have to write another post about the changes we are making w/ the boys to keep them in a routine this fall. B/c like I said, this post is about changes that I am making. I find that when I have too much "down" time, then I lose motivation completely and get nothing done! I would rather have 3 or 4 things that I'm working on at the same time to keep me moving! But that's just me...

Probably since I've had the kids, I have struggled w/ having a consistent quiet time in prayer and reading God's Word. Most times since I didn't have a 30 min. chunk of time to sit and read and study the Bible, I just wouldn't do anything at all.
Then about 3 yrs ago, a friend of mine invited me to a Bible study where the leader really challenged us to just read "what we could, when we could". Only have 3 min while the macaroni is cooking? Sit down (or hide in the pantry so the kids can't find you) and read a few sentences. Then you can think on those few words while you go thru the next few hours of your day until you have another few min. I found that this actually helped me remember things more and really think about what I read.
That approach to Bible study got me thru the diaper stage of my kids' life.

Now that we are done w/ diapers, and they are much more self-sufficient in other areas as well, I knew that I should be able to find that "chunk of time" to read more. And I DESPARATELY recognized my need to start the day off w/ the right mindset and have a little "calm before the storm". Some of you aren't phased by this, but I struggle with it...little voices asking, asking, asking, needing, needing, needing...FIRST THING IN THE AM!! This sounds horrible I know. I mean they are my own children. I do love them. But I'm just being real. It's hard for me to start out my day totally selfLESS and beckon to their every call when I am still in the bed myself and would just like to eat one cookie w/ a bit of coffee before they see me and ask for one as well. Before they start fighting and arguing. etc, etc. (and yes, I often eat a cookie before breakfast) :-)

Somewhere in the blogs that I read, I came across I'm a 5:16 Gal a few months ago. And I last spring I did this w/ a few of my friends. It was good to have accountability w/ others!
-What is a 5:16 Gal? A 5:16 gal is a gal who has decided that she wants to redeem the time with her Savior. She is choosing to rise early, before the day takes her away, to sit at the feet of Jesus
-Why 5:16? Ephesians 5:16 says, "making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." The literal meaning is "redeem the time." We are seeking to redeem the time and make the most of every opportunity to seek the Lord with all our hearts. Because the days are evil. We must prepare for battle each and every day - sometimes just to get through the day.

Then just last month a great friend of mine told me about this WONDERFUL website called Inspired to Action dedicated to practically helping moms develop the habits and skills they need to effectively manage their homes and raise children who are prepared to change the world.
And on this website, there is great FREE ebook called Maximize Your Mornings!
This.Has.Changed.Me.
You have to read the ebook for yourself, or at least the first 5 pages, and then you'll just not be able to keep from the reading the rest!
It's just words that are really mostly known facts, but so, so true and obvious, and helpful all at the same time.
like, "An object in motion stays in motion", and "be consistent", and "just get.out.of.bed"

So, read the ebook, or at least the first few pages!! and to circle back to the beginning of this post about routine...I have made this a routine for the past 2 or 3 weeks. See, I can't even remember, so it must not that be bad to get up early if I can't even think back to when I used to sleep until the kids got up...ahh, that blessed used-to-be 7am wake up...
I won't say that every day has been w/o selfishness once they do wake up, or even that every day I have been alone in my early wake up (seemed to back-fire the first few days w/ them getting up early as well). but I can say that there are more days than before where I am happy, calm, cool, and collected when I hear those first little pitter-patters or the "I'm hungry...", or my favorite, "he's looking at me..."

I set the coffee to start at 6am, and the boys must stay in their room until 7am (we are still working on this). I get up and message some friends who are doing this with me for accountability. Just stating that I am AWAKE, and in the Word. Smart phones are great! It has been very helpful in my early AM study and accountability. I get daily emails on my phone from Back to the Bible, and then I read the corresponding passage in my Bible (see, I don't do everything on the smart phone). Then I have a Bible memory program on my phone called Remember Me and I work on the verse I am memorizing.
It's a start...how about you? Try it! You'll like it!

Schedules and Routines

When we moved into this house, I was overwhelmed with the add’l time that is needed to keep it clean. (found another thing that I was thankful for…the many different housing situations we have been over the past 3 ½ yrs…smaller means less area to clean! :-)

The nice thing about this schedule is that I have given myself a small task each day that shouldn't take more than 30-45 minutes. And if for some reason something comes up and I can't complete the task that day, I know I'll get to it the next week.

On the days that I have stuck to it, it has been revolutionary! I actually have an allotted time to empty the dishwasher each day. Hooray! I'm sure it will need to be tweaked as we go along, but for now this new routine has been very helpful.

I'm sharing this with you not so much for your benefit as to keep me accountable! If I tell you I'm doing this, well by all means, I better keep it up!

Daily Routine

Before Breakfast:
-Check e-mail—which includes the daily Back to the Bible emails that I subscribe to
-Read the Scripture Passages from Back to the Bible emails
-Drink coffee and watch a few min. of news
(the boys are watching a 30 min show in our bed while I go downstairs to do the things listed above)

While Boys Eat Breakfast:
-Empty the dishwasher/Do any dishes left in the sink from the night before (yes, it’s not beyond me to go to bed w/ dirty dishes in the sink :-)
-Start prep work for dinner (thawing meat or starting crock pot)

After Breakfast:
-Get Dressed
-Make beds
-Daily Cleaning
-“School” (I aim for M, W, F for this )
-Outing/Errands (some days)

Before Lunch:
-Pick up toys

After Lunch:
-Put boys down for naps
-Work for PT job
-Finish Bible Study

Before Dinner:
-Finish dinner prep

After Dinner:
-Run dishwasher (whether it is full or not)*
-Wipe down countertops
-Pick up toys
-Put boys down for bed
-Work for PT job
-Shower


*You might think it is wasteful to run the dishwasher even when it's not empty. It is. However, unloading the dishwasher used to be one of my most loathed tasks. If I have an allotted time to empty it (during the boys' breakfast), this makes it much less of hassle than trying to unload it in the middle of something else.
And if I start the day w/ an empty dishwasher, I don’t end up w/ a “backup”…
I used to always have a sink full of dirty dishes that needed to be loaded into the dishwasher, but the dishwasher had clean dishes in it that needed to be unloaded…an bad habit/cycle to get into.
This has been the single greatest implementation so far! And it is almost ALWAYS full by the end of the evening.


Daily Cleaning


Monday:
Vacuum downstairs
Clean downstairs bathroom
Wash all laundry

Tuesday:
Fold all laundry
Sweep Kitchen

Wednesday:
Vacuum upstairs
Clean the 2 upstairs bathrooms

Thursday:
Dust
Sweep Kitchen

Friday:
Vacuum downstairs
Catch up from any daily cleaning that was skipped
Or Monthly/Semi-annual Cleaning Task (see link below)

Saturday:
Catch up from any daily cleaning that was skipped
Or Monthly/Semi-annual Cleaning Task (see link below
Menu plan and grocery shop

Sunday:
Clip coupons

I then use the cleaning list here (see page 2) for the cleaning items that should be done once a month or a few times a year (washing windows, vacuuming under beds, etc).

New Year

2010 is over. While it started off with a bang of bad news, it ended with some very promising news (to be disclosed in a later post...and NO I'm not pregnant)! A year ago, we found out that our landlord had gotten foreclosed on and never even bothered to let us know. Yes, the house we were living in, and had been paying monthly rent for the past 10 months was now owned by the bank, and we would have to move within 6 weeks. Finding a notice of a Sherrif's Auction on the door of your rental house is pretty shocking in and of itself, not to mention that that was the first place we had lived since moving to NC that finally felt "permanent".

We would have loved to rent that house for 5 years (our home in FL that never sold due to the housing market crash was limiting us from buying a home at the time). We had incredible neighbors, it was a great neighborhood, had a great fenced-in yard that backed up to woods, the boys had their own room (which was HUGE for sleeping habits of toddlers), I was finally making friends and enjoying living in NC (which was also HUGE b/c the move to NC and the subsequent 18 months was a little hard for me to say the least). Oh, and to add to the shock of how we found out about this, and to the disappointment of leaving that specific house/neighborhood...add to that, the "hassle" (not sure what word to use here) of moving...AGAIN...that was our 4th move in 2 1/2 yrs.
BUT as I think back on the past year, there are so many blessing for which to be thankful! At times I questioned why the Lord even allowed us to even rent that house if we were just going to have to move out after 10 months. I almost wished we had never gotten to live there b/c now I was going to compare any future housing options to that and be disappointed...BUT living in that house/neighborhood ended up bringing many blessings from the Lord.
While I would have never wished or desired to pack and unpack as many times as I have since Aug 2007, each place we have lived since coming to NC has "made me who I am today" (isn't that a phrase that you hear alot??...best way I could think to describe it although cliche). I've gotten to know many different areas, the pros and cons of different neighborhoods and parts of the town, and learned where lots of different stores and businesses are located. And most importantly, I have made all types of different friends (mom friends, friends for my children, dog-sitter friends, home-schooling friends, etc, etc) from all the neighbors that we have had. And most specially of the most importantly, I made one of the closest friends that I have ever had. A Christ-loving girl that is my age and has the same age kids. God is good!

And now the house that we moved to...another rental. We didn't have much choice b/c of the short amt. of time due to the lack of notice from the landlord (I need to let that go, I know!! But I still can't get over that!)
Thankfully, we were able to stay in Waxhaw and at the same monthly rent. But, the house was much smaller, the boys had to share a room once again ;-(, it was surrounded by trees (horrible for allergies--this is the girl who had to get allergy shots as a kid, and stay home from school b/c I couldn't see out of my eyes...so 50 oak trees covering my house is kind of a big deal for me), and other little things that just weren't my first choice. At least we were just renting it.

But there are lots of things that I must list that I am so thankful for and will be sad to leave:
the nice wood floors throughout, all of the extra custom cabinets in the kitchen, everything being so 'close' in the house b/c it's all on one level, the window over the kitchen sink letting me watch the kids while they play on the nice deck, the storm doors so I can let some sunlight in (I'm def. a "solar-powered" gal), closenss to Harris Teeter, less house to clean, and another neighbor who has become a great friend even though they moved to another neighborhood.
And I must list a few more things I love b/c I went into so much detail about the negative earlier...I just really like the town of Waxhaw in general...found the best re-sale kids clothing shop ever...Sweet Repeats, and discovered MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) at Waxhaw Bible Church and made lots of sweet Christian moms there!

This is getting very long, so I will end with the following that I cut and paste from one of my favorite websites: Life as Mom She said what is my heart and what I desire.

What’s does the future hold?
I have no idea what will happen in the new year. I imagine that some things will change, some will stay the same. But, I know that I want to approach the twists and turns that are sure to characterize the road ahead with the right attitude.

I want to trust that God is ultimately in control. I want to remember to hold things loosely — what do I have that He hasn’t given me?
I want to laugh often and love much.
I want to say yes, be all there, and enjoy today.
Will these things guarantee that my year is a happy one? No, there’s no guarantee to anything in life.

But, I think if we expect the unexpected and prepare our hearts and minds to tackle stumbling blocks with determination and a good attitude, well, I think it can be a happy year.

Proverbs 31 with personal examples

I found this note in my Bible that I had written a year ago when the boys were more like babies. I often read thru Proverbs 31 and try to work on being a virteous women the way the Bible describes.
The following are things that I have a hard time with/have to work on:

1. Driving 30 min one-way to Super Wal-mart when I was used to a much shorter drive when we lived in FL. (She brings food from afar. Prov. 31:14)
2. Getting up in throughout the night and early mornings during baby/toddler stages. (She rises also while it is still night. Prov. 31:15)
3. Lifting my heavy boys who didn't walk until 14 months old. I must have a really weak back. (She makes her arms strong. Prov. 31:17)
4. Choices of what to do during the boys' nap time (She does not eat the bread of idleness. Prov.31:27)

Some of those might seem silly, but the verses really encouraged and challenged me.

Here are some pictures of what we've been doing lately up here in PA:


4th of July at Camp


Going to the trampoline in the lake at Camp


Wyatt "swimming" all by himself!


Doing a craft from No Time for Flashcards


Their first amusement park ride at Dutch Wonderland


Levi's Favorite Ride

(Trying to) Have Fun!!

Alot of this post comes from the following sources:
Professionalizing Motherhood by Jill Savage
Life as MOM blog (To Be More Joyful article)

I was really challenged by what I read in both of those places and wanted to post what I am trying to work on! I really want to have more fun with my kids and my family as whole. And just LAUGH more! I'm not sure what specific point it happened, but I either "grew up", got too busy, got to distracted with responsibilities, etc, etc, but I have stopped laughing like I used to! Please laugh along with me in understanding of the following points :-)

•Many times “fun” means “mess”. This is the first reality we have to come to grips with if we are going to have fun. If we don’t have the right perspective, this will feel like an interruption to our day. The right perspective, though, is that it is an ESSENTIAL part of our day. Having fun with our children is part of being a mom. And dealing with messes is sometimes a part of having fun.

•I am way too practical at times when I need to be spontaneous.

•Have the attitude of “sure, why not?”

•Life with kids is a life that is destined not to go as planned. You can react with anger or you can respond with grace, and even humor. Learning to respond with grace and humor is an act of replacing well-though-out plans with a bit of spontaneity.

•Cleaning your house [and, presumably, maintaining any other semblance of a normal life] while children are growing is like shoveling your driveway while it’s still snowing.

•If we don’t accept that life with children will include disorder, we will always be frustrated b/c we feel out of control. We can become obsessed with unrealistic expectations and allow them to steal our joy.

•There are some things I am trying to learn to accept (as a homemaker with more than 1 male under our roof):
1.It will always be noisy at our house.
2.The toilets and bathroom floors will rarely be spotless.
3.Physical activity is going to rule the day over quiet occupations.