When both of my boys have structure and nourishment they are so much more inclined to obey, be kind, and NOT do all those things that make you sigh and cringe and wonder if you are even making an impact in their life training. Let me explain...
Both of them, but Wyatt especially do not do well when I am occupied w/ my own work (whether that be Mommy work or Job work), and they have "free reign" of the house. Does any one else's kids act like they are bored after more than 20 min of free play? My kids do. I find myself wanting to say, "Play with TOYS, you are children, that's what children do!" Some of my opinion comes from things I have read in Babywise, Toddlerwise, and Preschoolwise books. It's like the child is overwhelmed w/ all of his choices (toys activities) and just gets bored OR into trouble! I have found that if I set a timer and say, "Mommy is going to do some work for 20 min, Wyatt needs to play his room, and Levi needs to play in the playroom", that helps at least the arguing and fighting issue. Then after 20 min, we'll do something all together like read a book, or color, or watch a 30 min show on PBS. Then the next time I need to get something done, I'll have them each go to the opposite room they were in the last time. Ahh, "new" toys, new environment, "confinement"--having free reign to run like indians thru the house just dosen't work for my kids! Then maybe another chunk of time later in the day or the next day, I'll bring out some toys that I had put away in my closet a few weeks ago..."new" toys again! Win! or we'll have a designated coloring time, or a time for "school", or a time for "outside". But giving a 3 yr old and 2 yr old the choice of what do to, or just "go play" usually ends up frustrating me and no fun for them. But when they know what "time" it is and what is allowed and expected, they do sooo well!!
Nourishment...this one mainly pertains to Levi, but I see effect in Wyatt as well. How many of us get edgy or grumpy, or even get a headache when we havne't eaten in awhile? And we are old enough to recognize those feelings and either do something about it, or try to keep our actions in check w/ some self control until we can get some food! It's amazing the difference in Levi when I give him just half a banana or some crackers and juice. When they are babies, they cry when they are hungry. Now I've noticed that instead of asking for some food (b/c I guess he's not old enough yet to recognize the feeling or need), he ends up succombing much more easily to all things "wrong". Sure he's 2, so he's apt to tempers, disobeying, being mean etc. But when he's hungry, it's 10xs as worse than his normal sin nature playing out. This isn't just for Levi, but he seems more prone to it...not sure if it's b/c of his personality or his younger age. So my new resolution is to give them both some healthy, not too big snack like fruit between nap wake-up and supper. Hopefully this will make for a more bearable dinner prep time for me, and a not-so choatic arrival home from work for Adam.
I know the troubles and trials are only going to get worse as they get older and I am thankful that right now I can solve things (or at least make them better) w/ some structure and some nourishment!
Here's a picture from Thanksgiving. Wyatt 3.75 yrs, Levi 2.5 yrs, Cousin Ethan (2 yrs)
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