Homeschool "Socialization" and Field Trips

Some people wonder how our kids will be "socialized" since we homeschool. I'm not wondering or worrying about it all! The boys are with friends their own age and older and even adults all the time! Between Sunday School, church, church events, park playdates, and field trips (yes, homeschoolers can go on those too!), we have many opportunities to learn about how to act and react in social situations. I'm not trying to start a interweb discussion, but just simply cataloging our activities for memories sake and family enjoyment! :-)

In September, we walked to our local park (maybe a mile or 2 from our house) with a 2 other homeschool families. While we walked, we did a scavenger hunt. As the kids looked for and marked off things like: stop signs, birds, squirrels, trees, and flowers, we were able to even get in a little bit of education as well. One of the best things is when you realize that through everday talk, you are really teaching your kids... and that my friends, is one part of homeschooling--a very, very easy part! Just walking, and talking and observing and commenting on what you see is imparting knowledge to their little minds! So great! So easy!

And here's some real-life "teaching"...Daddy showing the boys how to shoot a bb gun! Milk Jug Targets. Red Neck Homeschooling.

Then in October we went to a local farm with 3 other homeschool families and joined an even larger group for a "field trip" and tour of the farm. Aw Shucks is a farm in Monroe, NC. It's lots of fun and very hands-on! The farmers told us all about how the corn goes from the ground to the grocery store. They even got to pick a pumpkin and take a hay ride! And no trip to the farm is complete without some running and jumping on hay bales and a grain bin slide! And my sports-loving boys were in their element tossing a football through a tire!

She did WHAT??

I never win anything. It's not sad, just a fact. I enter giveaways. I never win.
I was reading my favorite blog, When You Rise, and briefly scanned through her list of winners for different books that she was giving away. I noticed my name. Well, the "Laurel" caught my eye. Because, #1, is my name and #2, it's not very common. But alas, it wasn't me, it was "Laurel C." But I did go back and look at that because that used to be my name...my maiden is Cowser (there's some trivia for any of you who didn't know that and care to know...as if I have any readers who aren't family or close friends that already know that! ha! I shouldn't flatter myself so!). Anyway, I did think it was an interesting coincidence, but figured that once again I didn't win. No big deal. Then I got an email a few days later saying that if I didn't reply w/ the address that I wanted my book mailed to, my book would be given to someone else. WHAT? I actually did win? And I missed the first email telling me that I was chosen! Too crazy! I must have logged in w/ my FB acct to register for the giveaway and my FB name has my maiden name.
But that is not the reason for the title of this post! While it is unbelievable to me that I won a giveaway, the more unbelievable thing is that the book that I won is the personal story of how a mother read the whole Bible to her children ages 4 yrs old down to 9 months old.
SHE DID WHAT??
Read one chapter a day out loud TO HER CHILDREN. Not her high school children. Not her middle school children. Not her elementary children. Her children that were all preschool age and younger when they began. It took 5 years to read the whole Bible through...the first time...and then they did it again!!!
I had heard the title of this book in passing from different social media sites, blogs, radio, etc. I put it on my ever growing Amazon and Paper Back Swap Wish lists. I had forgotten about it as books like "The Strong-Willed Child" and "Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit" were more on my pressing "to-read-now" list.
But then I won a free copy of this book about a mother who read the WHOLE Bible OUT LOUD to her KIDS!!
I love books, I love to hold them, to read them, to re-read them. I like the "new-book" smell. I'm usually reading at least 3 books at a time stashed at different places in the house. The reading goes ALOT slower now as I can usually only read a chapter at a time w/o being interrupted or needed...not to mention the sense of responsibility that overwhelms me and makes me stop "doing nothing" to go do housework or clean or play w/ the kids.
So, of course, I started reading this book right away! It's a smaller/shorter book with cute embellishments on many pages and a nice cover of a bird and her baby chicks. The chapters are short enough to read in about 5 minutes. The author is very personable, very real, transparent, and just overall likable! She doesn't hide the bad and the ugly. She portrays the good times and the hard times.
Here is one of my favorite parts of the book:
I prayed these two requests almost every morning of the whole five years of our first reading of the Bible. "Lord, allow my children and me to remember more than we think we are capable of remembering. And Lord, let us understand more than we think we are capable of understanding. Help us to believe what we read today and give us the desire and strength to obey Your commands. Use Your Word to transform us into the image of Christ.

I am convicted. I am excited. I want to do this. I can do this. I know it's important to teach the Word to my children, so why not start my "teaching" with reading straight from the Bible. Not a Kids Bible Story with picture version, but my Bible. Instead of them just seeing me read my Bible to myself silently. I need to read it out loud to them as well!
Together: Growing Appetites for God by Carrie Ward
I recommend this book hands down! I added it to my "favorites" on my bookshelf to the right side of the blog. (if you are reading this in an email or viewer, you will have to click over to the website here to see the bookshelf)

1st Day of School

3 weeks ago, we had our first day of school!! The boys were both very excited! Wyatt is so happy to "finally" be in Kindergarten, and Levi was excited to go to preschool!
I am homeschooling Wyatt using the following curriculum:
Abeka K5Phonics
Abeka K5Handwriting curriculum
Abeka 1st Grade Math
Abeka Community Helpers
Abeka God's World
Positive Action K5 Bible Curriculum

Levi is going to a preschool program 3 hrs/day 3 days a week at a church just 5 miles away from our house. Wyatt went there last year for pre-k and we were very pleased. They use the Abeka K4 Phonics and Handwriting as well. He has the same wonderful teacher that Wyatt had last year.
All summer long Levi kept insisting in a very grumpy voice and attitude that he was "not going to preschool". He would even say, "Mommy don't sign me up for preschool b/c I'm not going". I was very surprised at this b/c all last year he was very interested in what Wyatt had done at preschool and would talk about it all the time with great curiosity and an almost-longing desire to be there with Wyatt.
Once he realized that Wyatt would not be in the same preschool next year with him, I think he was scared/nervous to go there by himself. I just talked about it w/ excitement and encouragement even though he was clearly telling me that he did not want to go. In my head, I knew that we, as the parents, were going to have him go where we decided and he would not make the decision for us. I prayed for his attitude, and I showed him love, and continued to talk excitedly about it. The night of orientation and "meet the teacher and classmates", he did not put up a fight at all, but when we had to leave his room for a parent meeting, he did cry and pull on Adam's leg asking him not to go. I had to leave first so I didn't start crying too or give in and stay with him. But we did it, we left. He stayed. 30 minutes later, after our parent meeting was over, we came to pick him up and he was smiling! Every night since then, Levi asks, "Do I get to go to preschool tomorrow?" He LOVES it! One time he even told me, "I just had to go that first meeting and then I was ok" :-) such a grown up little boy! sniff, sniff! ;-(
Wyatt and I do his Kindergarten work while Levi is at preschool on MWF. And on Tu/Thurs, Levi joins us for our K5 Bible Curriculum. That system has been working just great for us. Wyatt is already reading and writing, so most of the things that the curriculum has set forth to teach are really just review for him. Wyatt loves math and has for quite awhile. In order to teach him something new in regards to Math, I had to put him up into the 1st grade math book. He is doing just fine with that level and seems to be ready for multiplication already. He loves doing speed tests with addition and subtraction. With his competitive nature, I know he would LOVE a game of "Around the World" w/ flashcards in a class full of students!! But I do not feel like he is "missing out" by not being in public school. Both Adam and I are confident in our decision to keep them home schooled for the younger years and take it a year at a time! Below are some pictures we captured on the first day of school to have as memories as they get bigger and older!

Book Review/Recommendation: Give Them Grace

I'm probably doing this backwards, since I already wrote 2 posts on my thoughts on the word "grace" which were spurned on by reading Give Them Grace and Grace for the Good Girl...BUT here's a more official book review/recommendation complete w/ quotes directly from the book:

I loved this book b/c it helped me start thinking of my parenting in light of God's Grace. After reading this book, I was really convicted that I have made Jesus into a sort of "Santa Clause" that rewards us when we are good and punishes us when we are bad. The author continually points out throughout the book, that we do have to live by the "law" (as they did in the Old Testament before Jesus came to earth to die for our sin--the laws that we break) to prove that we love God out of fear of what He might do. We only need to rest in what He has DONE...died on the cross for our sin.
Here are some quotes from the forward of the book:
Long-term, sustained, gospel-motivated obedience can come only from faith in what Jesus has already done, not fear of what we must do...The law shows us what a sanctified life looks like, but it does not have sanctifying power. It's the gospel (what Jesus has done) that alone can give God-honoring animation to our obedience. The power to obey, in other words, comes from being moved and motivated by the completed work of Jesus for us. So, while the law directs us, only the gospel can drive us.

One of my favorites part of the book is in the beginning...the author points out the irony of telling people that they can't earn their way to heaven by their behavior (but rather need to trust in Jesus instead of relying on their own "goodness" b/c we aren't "good" we are sinners) but then follow that up with telling them that Christianity is all about their behavior and whether God is pleased or displeased with their actions.
We will never be able to "behave" perfectly, that is why Jesus had to die.

Why are so many of the people who I grew up with (in a legalistic church and school) no longer attending church or having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Because there has to be more than just head-knowledge from following a bunch of rules. There has to be obedience from the heart. Rules will be ignored or bent, or obeyed on the outside, but with rebelling on the inside.

The primary reason the majority of kids from Christian homes stray from the faith is that they never really heard it or had it to begin with. They were taught that God wants them to be good, that poor Jesus is sad when they disobey, and that asking Jesus into their heart is the breadth and depth of the gospel message. Scratch the surface of the faith of the young people around you and you'll find a disturbing deficiency of understanding of even the most basic tenets of Christianity.

The author gives alot of examples of child rearing situations and how we should respond to train our kids to continually think of God's grace. One of my favorite examples is when 2 brothers were fighting and one is hitting the other and the mother said, "stop, you must love your brother". The child responded with "But he makes me so mad! I can't love him". What I would naturally say is what the author says that she used to say as well, "Oh, yes, you can love him and you will! The Bible says you have to, so you can"
That sounds good. I would have said that. I have said that. I default to saying that b/c that is how I was raised. But then the author points out that instead we should say something like this:

Exactly! I'm so glad to hear you say that, because it shows me that God is working in you. It is true that God commands you to love your brother, but you can't. That is the bad news, but that is not all the new there is. The rest of the news is so exciting! You can't love your brother like God is asking you to, so you need a Rescuer to help you. And the really great new is that God has already sent one! His name is Jesus! Jesus has perfectly loved you and perfectly loved his brothers for you, fulfilling the law to love in your place. If you believe in him, he doesn't punish you, the way you were punishing and beating up your brother. Instead of punishing you, he took all the punishment you deserve when he died on the cross for you. He knows how angry you are. He knows that there are times you are hateful and selfish with your brother. Be he has loved you in spite of your sin. And because of this, because of the way you have been lavishly loved, if you believe in him, you will grow to love your brother more and more. Because of Jesus alone, because of what He has already done for you, you can learn how to love if you believe that he will be that loving with you. But you'll never be able to do this on your own.

This should still be followed up with discipline and prayer!

And I love how throughout the book the author points out that no matter how much we work on training on our children in and with grace, our actions will not save our children. There is no formula that guarantees their salvation or obedience. Grace-based parenting is not the "magic" formula to be followed for a certain result. Salvation is of the Lord. He might use us as a means to accomplish His purpose.  But our children will only be saved by faith and it will be of God not of us.

These quoted portions in italics above are only from the forward and introduction sections of the book! There is sooo much more in the following chapters! Everything is backed up with scripture references as well! This is the type of book that I would like to read once a year to refresh and encourage myself in regards to parenting. Read it soon! Or MAYBE I'd let you borrow my copy although it's all marked up, underlined, and dog-eared! And by the way, as with any book, there are parts within the book that I may not agree whole heartedly with or they might *gasp* use a different version of the Bible that I don't personally own or my pastor doesn't preach out of...folks, THAT'S OK!! :-) We are big boys and girls and should be able to discern for ourselves. Compare things to what the Bible says!
I highly recommend this book (and I'm not getting paid or using any affiliate links that provide kickbacks) to any parent and grandparent! I would love to continue to post things I learned from reading this book as it would help cement these truths in my mind, but I don't want to lose the few readers/followers that I have on here! ha! Love to you all and thanks for reading what I write!

Adventures in August

August was a a great month full of birthdays and the beach! We were still in PA for the first 2 weeks of August while Adam was finishing up his summer job. Then "on the way" back to NC, we went to the Outer Banks, NC to visit my in-laws and enjoy their house within 30 of the beach access!! After the long drive back to Waxhaw, we started the unpacking and settling back in process...took about a week for me to get everything back in place. Adam had to go to work the day after we got back to town and he's been working hard ever since. He is teaching 3 AP classes this semester which is quite a lot of work! The boys and I spent the last 2 weeks of August with all of our friends here in Waxhaw that we missed all summer! Here are some more details with the pictures below:

 

 

Levi was so sweet to get me flowers for my birthday! He insisted to my Dad that they get the pink, blue and yellow bouquet!

 

The boys (esp. Levi) loved to work in my Dad's garden. Not sure what they are looking for here under the fast growing Okra. Everyime we would come back to my parents' house after being at camp for a week or so, Levi would immediately run back to the garden to see what all had grown bigger!

The boys asked my mom to get me cupcakes and balloons for my bday!

I turned 29...again! ha!

Celebrating Adam's birthday. Levi insisted on having the green pepper in the picture. He said it was the biggest pepper that he has ever seen in his whole life! :-)

Adam and I got to have a date night while we were in the Outer Banks. My in-laws watched the kids and we went to an all-you-can-eat crab legs seafood buffet and then shopping at the outlets! Adam was making up for not being able to get off from work for my actual bday :-)

GORGEOUS Outer Banks, NC! My in laws house is just 30 ft from here!

 

Trying for some family pictures. Lots of squinting!

Fun stop at Cracker Barrel for lunch on the way back to Waxhaw

 

Wyatt got his first library card. He was very excited!

Levi was feeling left out that he did not get a library card (you have to be able to write you first and last name), and he wanted his picture taken too. This is a classic silly Levi face!

The word "Grace", Part 2

To read the beginning of my thoughts on The word "Grace", click here.
I mentioned that I was in a group book study on Grace for the Good Girl, and I will give more of a "book review" on that specific book in another post. But that book study was just the beginning of my desire to search out what it really meant to live a life focused on grace. While that book definitely opened my eyes to ways that I was attempting to "try hard" in my Christian life rather than resting in God's grace, another book made an even bigger impact on me mainly because its focus was on child rearing in light of God's grace. And right now with 4 and 5 year old boys in my house, anything on the topic of Christian child rearing gets my attention quite a bit!
This book that totally rocked my world and I just can't get out of my mind is Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. I just can't say enough about this book. I will probably end up typing out quite a few quoted passages as the authors of this book said it better than I ever could!

I will start out w/ the synopsis that is written on the back cover of the book to give you an overview:

Every way we try to make our kids "good" is simply an extension of Old Testament Law -- a set of standards that is not only unable to save our children, but also powerless to change them. No, rules are not the answer. What they need is GRACE. We must tell our kids of the grace-giving God who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters. If this is not he message your children hear, if you are just telling them to "be good," then the gospel needs to transform your parenting too. Give them Grace is a revolutionary perspective on parenting that shows us how to receive the gospel afresh and give grace in abundance, helping our children know the dazzling love of Jesus and respond with heartfelt obedience.

Where I get conflicted and my thoughts get confused is in the fact that my kids are young. For the past 5 years, our child "rearing" has mostly consisted of children learning to talk, walk, eat independently, bathroom independently, and teaching about sharing, caring, and danger to just list a few. The book refers to this stage as "managing". Phrases like "don't run in the street", "don't throw your bat", etc.
"Rules" of this manner are necessary of course. But now we are transitioning into school-age children, I have to loosen my grip on my love for rules as a way to "show" that they love Jesus and go into more of the "unknown" of just resting in grace and what Jesus has already done for us.
And as I re-read what I just wrote, I am about ready to delete the last 2 paragraphs as I feel like I cannot accurately voice what I am thinking...but I will leave it as maybe some of you understand what I am trying to say.
Let's go back to some quotes from the book...which, by the way, as with any book there are parts within the book that I may not agree whole heartedly with or they might *gasp* use a different version of the Bible that I don't personally own or my pastor doesn't preach out of...folks, THAT'S OK!! :-) We are big boys and girls and should be able to discern for ourselves. Compare things to what the Bible says!

We tell them that they can't earn their way into heaven and that they have to trust in Jesus alone for their goodness. But then something odd happens when we start training the miniature unbelievers in our own home. We forget everything we know about that deadliness of relying on our own goodness and we teach them that Christianity is all about their behavior and whether, on any given day, God is pleased or displeased with them.

Let's face it: most of our children believe that God is happy if they're "good for goodness' sake." We've transformed the holy, terrifying, magnificent, and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves. And instead of transmitting the gloriously liberating and life-changing truths of the gospel, we have taught our children that what God wants from them is morality. We have told them that being good (at least outwardly) is the be all and end-all of their faith. This isn't the gospel; we're not handing down Christianity. We need must less of Veggie Tales and Barney and tons more of the radical, bloody, scandalous message of God made man and crushed by his Father for our sin.

So how do I transition from constant rules...which were really needed as small children to teach them  initial obedience (learning to obey Dad's and Mom's voice), social obedience (learning the social codes of society aka manners), civic obedience (learning to obey the laws of society)...
transition from those rules that have been a constant part of our life for 5 years to making sure that I do not make rules with an added phrase of "that will make Jesus happy if you do it". And instead I need to constantly talk about what Jesus has done for us and that we do not have to "do" anything more to be found "acceptable" in His sight.
so much more I'd love to share from the book and might do at a later time! I would highly recommend getting your own copy!
2 posts with NO PICTURE of the kids! Sorry Mom! I do however have new pictures in the blog header :-)

The word "Grace"

I have wanted to write a post about this for a while, but always got overwhelmed at thinking of how to put all that I am thinking into words...
I am still unsure of how to accurately portray all of my thoughts on this. I fear this post may be just a bunch of disjointed thoughts, but here it goes:

"Grace is undeserved favor"
"Grace is getting something that you don't deserve"

Both of those definitions have been ingrained in my head from my years growing up in the Awana club program at church and going to Christian highschool and Christian college.

I thought I understand what that little 5 letter word meant. But my world began to be "rocked" sometime last fall/winter when I started hearing more and more about Grace from different areas of my Christian "circles"...books, radio, sermons, etc. It seemed to be a very popular topic as everyone was talking about it. I wondered what the big deal was b/c it wasn't like that word was hard to define. I knew the definition. I knew that "mercy" is when God withheld the punishment (going to Hell when I die) that I deserve for my sin and that "grace" is when God gave me Heaven for all of eternity instead. Easy. Explained. Done. So what was the big deal? What was I missing?

I heard about a book study being led by a mutual friend. A group of ladies from her church was going to read "Grace for the Good Girl" and meet every week to discuss it. I had heard the title in passing from a couple of different social media sites. I googled it and it sounded like a book that I might have written myself had I ever been able to write a book! Ha!
I definitely grew up trying to be  "good girl" to a certain degree. I knew that I did not need to "try" to get to Heaven by being good. But the type of church and school I grew up in had a lot of rules. I liked rules...well, maybe not every rule. But rules are something this 'Type-A personality' girl thrives on. To me, rules are easier. Give me a list, I will follow it to the "t" and get the desired result. A good Christian girls does a, b, and c...ok, then I'll do a, b, and c and that will make me a good Christian girl.
But while I knew deep down that I did not have to do good things in order to get to Heaven (that was something that Catholics did, not us "Christians"), I was trained to believe that God would be happy if I was good and He would be sad if I was bad. So, I knew that I would go to Heaven no matter what b/c I had admitted that I was a sinner and could not get to Heaven by doing "good things". Bur rather, I deserved punishment for my "bad things".  And I believed that Jesus died on the cross as the punishment that I deserved for my sin. But then, I still felt like I had to live by certain rules to please God b/c he sent His Son, Jesus to die for my punishment so I could go to Heaven instead of going to Hell where I deserved to go.

And here is where I am still somewhat conflicted in my thoughts b/c to a certain degree, I should be living in such a way that will glorify God b/c He did create me and He did send his Son to die for me. But at the same time, I do not have to "do" anything to get to Heaven. I used to think that the places where the Bible states, "If you love me, you will keep my commands" meant that my motivation for keeping God's laws was to show that I loved God. But now I am realizing through many sermons I have listened to and many books I have read that a verse like I John 5:2 is simply stating a fact. Those who love God will keep on keeping His commands. It is not a way to show whether or not we love Jesus.

Queue the 2nd book that really, really rocked my world..."Give Them Grace"...wow!! I feel like I don't even want to speak to my kids anymore without first really evaluating what I am about to say. It comes so naturally for me to say, "Be kind. That will make Jesus happy". That's what I was told growing up. That's what I default to saying w/o even realizing it! Don't get me wrong, my parents did they best they knew how when raising me. I am not saying that I was ruined by this at all. It's just a totally different way of looking at everything in your life...so much more to say about this book...but...
to be continued...